The Lactation Nerd Blog
Evidence Based Info
for All Lactating People.
for All Lactating People.
While I sit here watching my two littles play dinosaurs together, I have more than five girlfriends that are all giving birth to their first baby very, very soon. And there are so many things I want them to know, but most of all I want them to remember, I've got your back mama, and however I can support you, I will.
Hey there! My name is Kelly Maher Carvell, CLC, CLE.
I offer effective telehealth lactation support and education to modern families.
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I am thinking about when I was pregnant with H, I had everything planned. My first baby, we didn't know if it was a boy or a girl, we didn't know how quick he would come, or who would be there. And on the day he made his grand appearance my dad was on a work trip. Right before he left, he said, "I know that baby is going to come the second I land across the world, and I am sorry I won't be there for you honey." My heart ached, not for me, but for him. His first baby, having her first baby. And there my baby came. One day later, just couldn't wait for Baba to get back.
Now my friends, their first baby, is being born in the peak of a fricken pandemic. Their first baby is being born with no parents in the waiting room excited to hear if their new grandchild is a boy or a girl. Their first baby, who won't be smothered in kisses by their anxious aunties. Their first baby, who won't meet their baby best friends for an unknown amount of time. My heart ached when my dad couldn't be there, but now my heart is in literal pieces thinking about YOU. I know your perfect birth plan has turned into getting your baby into the world and out of the contaminated hospitals as soon as humanly possible. Not exactly the ideal birth plan, huh? You can feel all the feelings, and be sad for the things that won't be, it is absolutely valid. AND there are some things that are so, so important for you to know about bringing your first baby into this world.
You NEVER get this moment back. You never get another moment holding your FIRST baby. You will never have this time of undivided attention to your baby, time with just you and your partner, and your new baby. Soak in the moments. It will be hard not seeing your parents or siblings, but think about ALL the extra love your baby is going to get the second the shelter-in-place orders are lifted. Take this time with your new baby, your first baby, to soak in the skin-to-skin. You have the time to really master breastfeeding (we can help if you're struggling!). You can walk around the house completely naked with no fear that anyone is going to walk in the front door. Heal your body. Sleep as much as baby, your home doesn't need to be cleaned for anyone. Take a long bath with baby, no one is coming over to be entertained. You NEVER get this time with your firstborn back. Spend your afternoons snuggling on the couch, and your evenings snuggling in bed. Spend your days walking around the block (if your body is up for it), or spend your days laying on the floor practicing tummy time. You must remember, this time goes SO fast, even when we are not in a pandemic, so soak it up.
Pandemic or not, you only have a first baby once. We want you to feel excited about bringing your baby home, we hope you feel ready to bring your first baby home. What do you need? How can we help? We hope you've known we always have your back, but we are here to tell you, we're not going anywhere.
Kelly Maher Carvell, CLC, CLE
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